Josh's letter 11/26

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I'm sure you would be glad to hear that I did keep the day holy by partisipating in the turkey bowl this morning. It was alot of fun. I haven't played football in along time. I think I will be sore tomorrow. But I'm glad to see the church is the same all around the world... Well I woke up at 6:30am but I didn't want to work out because we were going to play football so I wrote a thanksgiving poem.

Thursday Sacrament

The turkey’s an ugly bird
no form or comeliness
or beauty to desire for.
A kind of vulture, my teacher said
that eats both the living and the dead.

Two evenings have gone by
since we killed our bird together
shot it through the side
scourged and plucked its feathers.

Today we stuffed the bowels full
placed it in the crucible
until the pink turned white
it no longer seemed to be
the bird we shot from flight

The tables covered white linen first
my father carves the beast
so his family may eat:
broken bread, broken meat,
broken hands, broken feet
broken wings, broken tears
broken heart, broken fears

Thanks you ugly vulture
I dont know why
somehow your death
means I can fly

As we eat this first and last supper
our hearts are over filled
with flesh of the bird we killed
all that remains: napkin and table cloth
and hope that the human condition is not lost.

The end
‘
I don’t know about the second to last stanza but it’s a work in progress only it probably won’t progress any time soon.

Well Brian was right about Bro Lund those were my feelings exactly. I have such a hard time talking about the Atonement for that exact reason. I feel there is no way to express it and the closest way is through some sort of fiction. Some epic or myth, some story. My poem is supposed to express this. That somehow through Christ the huge pool of human tormoil of human suffering--the great human cacophany and distance may strike a cord. We are all responsible to all and for all and I more than all the rest and so I am in a way guilty of the whole human condition. Everything will be made okay and just through Christ. Nothing now is just where as everything without it is unjust. David I appreciated your letter. Mom I forgive you for not writing me... You too Rachel and Matt and Cubby. Yes I got the fedEx package. Thank you for the socks and the hypothermia protection. We actually kind of had an Indian summer the last two weeks. It was the warmest it’s been since I got to Brainerd. Now it is cooling down again. I loved hearing about that case. It sounded really intence. They should probabably should make a movie out of it.

Well I might have sometime later to type but for now I am very greatful for my family. I am greatful for each of you. I'm excited for what is to come. I'm greatful for this chance to serve a mission. I’m greatful for all those who came before. I am now reaping what I did not sow and sowing what I will not reap. We had a lesson with a really neat family. The only reason they let us in was because they have seen so many missionaries and seen them treated rudely by others and by themselves and still they keep coming. He asked how do we do it. We answered best we could. I felt a great surge of hope. There are many many many who are like him who perhaps will invite missionaries in because I--and because my companions and other missionaries will keep knocking--keep trying. sowing seeds. Someday they will hear us and perhaps join us in the beautiful land of Zion. I'm greatful for those who came before in bringing this great country and the standard of freedom into the world. The many who died that we may live. It is up to us that their sacrifice will not have been in vain now, but in an eternal perspective and thanks to Christ it cannot and will never be in vain.

Hurrah for Israel.

With gratitude for my wounderful family,
Elder Sabey

ps did you ever get my message about sending me winter boots? I wasn't sure if it sent. If not I was just hoping that you could send me my winter boots. That should be the cheepest way to get warm boots.

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Josh's letter 11/9

This week my companion and I have recieved quite a bit of praise that is not well deserved. Things in Brainerd have picked up but it is not because me and my companion are so great. In fact I argue with my present companion far more than any before. He is a good missionary though, a very stong leader. The bishop told the mission presendent that he could not be happier with the missionaries and another women said that we cannot be transfered becuase she needs us in her home to help her and her husband and children. The weird thing is we hardly know the bishop--who is new, or the lady. I feel almost guilty. I'm not being self disparaging, we just really didn't deserve it but it was nice. It is really easy to feel terrible and like a failure as a missionary. I think this is because we have so little control. It is the Lord’s work not ours. I originally thought that I was going to come and convice people of the truthfulness of the restored gospel. Either through elequence of logic or the "power" of my testimony. But all these things have no influence unless the investigators opens their heart and if they do that then all of a sudden I matter even less because it is the Holy Ghost that teaches then. Logic is fickle and elequence is momentary and for the most part unappreciated anyhow. And even testimony is dependent on the chemistry of the conversation. It is impossible for my testiomy to be born with any sort of power unless the situation allows it. I am far less a teacher and far more a finder. Though missionaries are the teacher finders and the ward is the full time finders. The work moves so slow until we find someone. Finding the person is by far the hardest and biggest part of the job.

We had an amazing stake conference. Pres and Sis Howell gave talks and the whole meeting was focused on missionary work. It was held an hour and a half away from Brainerd in St Cloud in the university there. There was over a 1000 people. Sis Howell gave a fabulous talk about how god’s plan--or his responsibilities he gives us--are not a burden but a blessing. Then the pioneers of the area got up and bore testimonies. One half of the people present were first generation members and converts. The pioneers talked about going to Utah for the temple and then Chicago and then Minneapolis "our own backyard" (3 hours away). They talked about meeting in houses and stores then dependent suday schools and then branches and wards and now this newly organized stake. It was the first stake confrence of the new stake and there was a lot of zeal for the gospel and missionary work. It was a beautiful sight.

Does anyone sleep down stairs...I have a feeling my room may be no more...Sounds like it might be worth it though. But I do have an objection to having Cubbies friends come over to watch TV downstairs. It is much more fun to play a game or outside. I know that’s what mom has always said and it’s true. I do not remember a time spent on a game system that would have been better spent in a more social and active/interactive enviroment. Don’t get me wrong (Rachel) I still think there’s alot of fun and in moderation they can be a blast but the Sabey household is famous for its acivities. I like it that way. I'm just saying...

Dad, first off I really enjoyed your letter this week. I think I might incorporate your preface to a blessing. I missed St Crispen’s day and Tom’s Bday. I got Toms letter a day or so after. I forced my companion to listen to the speech anyhow. I dont think he appreciated it like he should. Actually he didn't appriciate it at all. I'm glad to hear you went to save Bro Jensen. Sounds like a wonderful ox in the myer situation. I think I would have been scared though. I'm glad he's okay. That’s a dangerous thing to be lost, wet at night in the mountains. I remember several mountain adventures with you: Hiking out the sande de cristo mnts. That was one of those heroic--in our own minds--moments. Same with climbing capitol. That was a memory never to be forgotten and yes mona lisa smiled and will always smile as I reflect on that trip and many of the other expirences that seem like moments caught on a film, a "panoramic drama", the emotion and strife and joy put into a single still frame of mountain grandure. I love the mountains. They are a legacy of you to me. The mountains of the lord. We all climb mountians and they are dangerous and hard and not really fun at all but I can imagine no more joy than standing on top of a mountain with my family looking down into the lakes and valleys below. All goes down. That to me symbolizes the temple and families continuing on forever. Running down the trail together. So give me this mountain--let us climb and see what’s on the other side of the mountain. Every time we have ascended a mountain and returned no where but home again it was not the same place we began. The mountains have changed me and so have you Dad. I recall a preisthood blessing where perhaps you and I were carried up unto an exceedingly high mountain on the wings of your faith. And you saw a beautiful picture there that you painted to me through loving words. Words that I saw clearly. I will always remember and that will keep me moving when I do not feel I can. Thanks for the pictures Dad. I love you. Happy BDay.

Love you all
PS. My adress:
901 12th Ave NE

Josh's letter 11/1

We taught 23 lessons this week. That is the most I've taught in a week my whole mission. You said that I must be working hard; I hope that is true. But sometimes it is hard to feel like I'm working hard. It isn't at all like track or any sport. It is easy to feel your body working hard. It is much harder to work hard on a mission. you have to work hard in prayer and in attitude. I was told by several people that the mission would be the hardest thing I've ever done. I dont feel like it is any more exhausting than anything else I might be doing (college for example). I was always warn out after a week of school. The mission is literally a full time job and unrelenting. There is no weekend. But I am also less tired than I was at school. I think as a cause of having no week end. The weekends are what really exhausted me. I'm tired on the mission alot too but there aren't deadlines or anything to stress me. It is all subject to other people’s dictation, which can be much more abnoxious than deadlines because I have no control over it.

Okay a few questions: Did you ever recieve the cd I sent? Did you ever look up that talk I mentioned? Just curious. I haven't heard any update on Vila Pueblo. I haven't heard any word on homemade christmas presents. Did Matt of Rachel or Brian or David or Ali dress up as anything for Halloween? (I didn't forget cubby he was a lumber jack) Did you follow the tradition and watch Ghost and Mr. Chicken? Is the family still in contact with Ali? Oh and if you do send socks, it would be nice if they were really warm socks.

Okay so it hasn't snowed much yet. The warmest it's been since I came to Brainerd was 50 degrees and that was just the other day. Most of the time it’s been below freezing or right around it. There are some of the nicest people in this ward. Have I told you about Brother Lund? He is the greatest guy. But this ward has some real struggles. So many people of the ward are less active because of some events that have happened in the last few years. One of which was the divorce of the former bishop and his wife. Both of whom are some of the nicest and most liked people in the ward. The Bishop now attends another ward becase of a court order and his former wife no longer attends. I think the recent conflict is magnified by the fact that most of the members have to drive thirty minuets to an hour, some even three hours, to come to church. So it is really easy to decide to not go to church. We are hoping for two baptisms this up comming month. We have a lesson with Danielle Higgins tonight who is our most promising progressing investigator.

Rachel you wrote me twice in a week... that’s got to be a PR for you. Ha ha Well thank you for your letters. I will change a little but no worries I'll still be as obnoxious as I was before I left. But you better change. You’ll have alot of expirences in the next two years that will be really growing experiences. So when is you big competitio? I thought there was some competitions coming up. I remember you had that latin group competition but how about the competition that you got the dress for? And how in the world did you earn $1000 dollars (I think I remember that that was the amount you earned for it). That’s alot of money.

Dad, I was jealous hearing about the yard projects I was missing out on. But the lord allowed me to be able to find some people this last week to be able to help--most people wont let us help. One person we were able to help started crying because her dad had always helped her before but he was now in a nursing home and she was struggling to do it by herself. It is such a privilage to be able to help someone when they need it. The real problem is finding people who will acept help even when they need it.

Mom and dad, I have thought several times this last week about how greatful I am for my parents who have taught me so much about the gospel. My dad was at every service project and my mom held no guile with anyone. They were both eager to serve and slow to be offended. They loved all the members of the ward. Perhaps this is what most impressed me. They did not simply show face honor to all but truly loved and became friends with both poor, rich and humble and they both loved going to church and had passion for its tenants and principles. I loved hearing about Brother Comstcock. I think I've decided that I have no chance of being a good parent so if I ever have kids I'll send them to you guys to raise. Sound good?

Alittle more about Brother Comstock. It's been interesting to me that recent converts and less active members have been far more sucessful at obtaining referals for the missionaries. Some might say that is because they have friends who aren't members but I doesn’t appear to be the case. I think it is because in these cases they are in the process of repenting. They are actively using the atonement in their lives. They are anxiously engaged in a good cause. I love the line in D&C 121 that says how long can rushing water remain impure. We must remian as rushing water in the gospel. If we are staggnent we become filthy. The atonement is the way that we can improve every aspect of out life, from relationships to school work to dancing. It is the way we move beyound ourselves and into the eternal. We can improve because of the hope we have that is in Christ our lord. If every member were to actively using the atonement in their lives they would, I have no doubt, as if led by an invisible hand, find people who need to hear the gospel.

I love you all,
Elder Sabey
PS Before I run out of time I want to tell David to talk to Brian about girls. Beause Brian and I discovered a little someting about them last year. Girls will be girls and they do have a hard time becoming "just friends". They thrive on being close, being needed and wanted. I'm sure Rachel and maybe mom will argue about some of this and they probably will have a valid point but I'm still right. I'm just saying that I think She'll have a hard time even if she says it's a good idea. Just ask Brian.

PPS The Vikings beat Green Bay--It's kind of a big deal.

ppps I've heard alot of interesting things from people about Obama here... I'm courious what Bruce and Margret have to say...

Josh's letter 11/1

We taught 23 lessons this week. That is the most I've taught in a week my whole mission. You said that I must be working hard; I hope that is true. But sometimes it is hard to feel like I'm working hard. It isn't at all like track or any sport. It is easy to feel your body working hard. It is much harder to work hard on a mission. you have to work hard in prayer and in attitude. I was told by several people that the mission would be the hardest thing I've ever done. I dont feel like it is any more exhausting than anything else I might be doing (college for example). I was always warn out after a week of school. The mission is literally a full time job and unrelenting. There is no weekend. But I am also less tired than I was at school. I think as a cause of having no week end. The weekends are what really exhausted me. I'm tired on the mission alot too but there aren't deadlines or anything to stress me. It is all subject to other people’s dictation, which can be much more abnoxious than deadlines because I have no control over it.

Okay a few questions: Did you ever recieve the cd I sent? Did you ever look up that talk I mentioned? Just curious. I haven't heard any update on Vila Pueblo. I haven't heard any word on homemade christmas presents. Did Matt of Rachel or Brian or David or Ali dress up as anything for Halloween? (I didn't forget cubby he was a lumber jack) Did you follow the tradition and watch Ghost and Mr. Chicken? Is the family still in contact with Ali? Oh and if you do send socks, it would be nice if they were really warm socks.

Okay so it hasn't snowed much yet. The warmest it's been since I came to Brainerd was 50 degrees and that was just the other day. Most of the time it’s been below freezing or right around it. There are some of the nicest people in this ward. Have I told you about Brother Lund? He is the greatest guy. But this ward has some real struggles. So many people of the ward are less active because of some events that have happened in the last few years. One of which was the divorce of the former bishop and his wife. Both of whom are some of the nicest and most liked people in the ward. The Bishop now attends another ward becase of a court order and his former wife no longer attends. I think the recent conflict is magnified by the fact that most of the members have to drive thirty minuets to an hour, some even three hours, to come to church. So it is really easy to decide to not go to church. We are hoping for two baptisms this up comming month. We have a lesson with Danielle Higgins tonight who is our most promising progressing investigator.

Rachel you wrote me twice in a week... that’s got to be a PR for you. Ha ha Well thank you for your letters. I will change a little but no worries I'll still be as obnoxious as I was before I left. But you better change. You’ll have alot of expirences in the next two years that will be really growing experiences. So when is you big competitio? I thought there was some competitions coming up. I remember you had that latin group competition but how about the competition that you got the dress for? And how in the world did you earn $1000 dollars (I think I remember that that was the amount you earned for it). That’s alot of money.

Dad, I was jealous hearing about the yard projects I was missing out on. But the lord allowed me to be able to find some people this last week to be able to help--most people wont let us help. One person we were able to help started crying because her dad had always helped her before but he was now in a nursing home and she was struggling to do it by herself. It is such a privilage to be able to help someone when they need it. The real problem is finding people who will acept help even when they need it.

Mom and dad, I have thought several times this last week about how greatful I am for my parents who have taught me so much about the gospel. My dad was at every service project and my mom held no guile with anyone. They were both eager to serve and slow to be offended. They loved all the members of the ward. Perhaps this is what most impressed me. They did not simply show face honor to all but truly loved and became friends with both poor, rich and humble and they both loved going to church and had passion for its tenants and principles. I loved hearing about Brother Comstcock. I think I've decided that I have no chance of being a good parent so if I ever have kids I'll send them to you guys to raise. Sound good?

Alittle more about Brother Comstock. It's been interesting to me that recent converts and less active members have been far more sucessful at obtaining referals for the missionaries. Some might say that is because they have friends who aren't members but I doesn’t appear to be the case. I think it is because in these cases they are in the process of repenting. They are actively using the atonement in their lives. They are anxiously engaged in a good cause. I love the line in D&C 121 that says how long can rushing water remain impure. We must remian as rushing water in the gospel. If we are staggnent we become filthy. The atonement is the way that we can improve every aspect of out life, from relationships to school work to dancing. It is the way we move beyound ourselves and into the eternal. We can improve because of the hope we have that is in Christ our lord. If every member were to actively using the atonement in their lives they would, I have no doubt, as if led by an invisible hand, find people who need to hear the gospel.

I love you all,
Elder Sabey
PS Before I run out of time I want to tell David to talk to Brian about girls. Beause Brian and I discovered a little someting about them last year. Girls will be girls and they do have a hard time becoming "just friends". They thrive on being close, being needed and wanted. I'm sure Rachel and maybe mom will argue about some of this and they probably will have a valid point but I'm still right. I'm just saying that I think She'll have a hard time even if she says it's a good idea. Just ask Brian.

PPS The Vikings beat Green Bay--It's kind of a big deal.

ppps I've heard alot of interesting things from people about Obama here... I'm courious what Bruce and Margret have to say...