Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Abel Evan's History
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Josh's letter 11/26
Top of Form
I'm sure you would be glad to hear that I did keep the day holy by partisipating in the turkey bowl this morning. It was alot of fun. I haven't played football in along time. I think I will be sore tomorrow. But I'm glad to see the church is the same all around the world... Well I woke up at 6:30am but I didn't want to work out because we were going to play football so I wrote a thanksgiving poem.
Thursday Sacrament
The turkey’s an ugly bird
no form or comeliness
or beauty to desire for.
A kind of vulture, my teacher said
that eats both the living and the dead.
Two evenings have gone by
since we killed our bird together
shot it through the side
scourged and plucked its feathers.
Today we stuffed the bowels full
placed it in the crucible
until the pink turned white
it no longer seemed to be
the bird we shot from flight
The tables covered white linen first
my father carves the beast
so his family may eat:
broken bread, broken meat,
broken hands, broken feet
broken wings, broken tears
broken heart, broken fears
Thanks you ugly vulture
I dont know why
somehow your death
means I can fly
As we eat this first and last supper
our hearts are over filled
with flesh of the bird we killed
all that remains: napkin and table cloth
and hope that the human condition is not lost.
The end
‘
I don’t know about the second to last stanza but it’s a work in progress only it probably won’t progress any time soon.
Well Brian was right about Bro Lund those were my feelings exactly. I have such a hard time talking about the Atonement for that exact reason. I feel there is no way to express it and the closest way is through some sort of fiction. Some epic or myth, some story. My poem is supposed to express this. That somehow through Christ the huge pool of human tormoil of human suffering--the great human cacophany and distance may strike a cord. We are all responsible to all and for all and I more than all the rest and so I am in a way guilty of the whole human condition. Everything will be made okay and just through Christ. Nothing now is just where as everything without it is unjust. David I appreciated your letter. Mom I forgive you for not writing me... You too Rachel and Matt and Cubby. Yes I got the fedEx package. Thank you for the socks and the hypothermia protection. We actually kind of had an Indian summer the last two weeks. It was the warmest it’s been since I got to Brainerd. Now it is cooling down again. I loved hearing about that case. It sounded really intence. They should probabably should make a movie out of it.
Well I might have sometime later to type but for now I am very greatful for my family. I am greatful for each of you. I'm excited for what is to come. I'm greatful for this chance to serve a mission. I’m greatful for all those who came before. I am now reaping what I did not sow and sowing what I will not reap. We had a lesson with a really neat family. The only reason they let us in was because they have seen so many missionaries and seen them treated rudely by others and by themselves and still they keep coming. He asked how do we do it. We answered best we could. I felt a great surge of hope. There are many many many who are like him who perhaps will invite missionaries in because I--and because my companions and other missionaries will keep knocking--keep trying. sowing seeds. Someday they will hear us and perhaps join us in the beautiful land of Zion. I'm greatful for those who came before in bringing this great country and the standard of freedom into the world. The many who died that we may live. It is up to us that their sacrifice will not have been in vain now, but in an eternal perspective and thanks to Christ it cannot and will never be in vain.
Hurrah for Israel.
With gratitude for my wounderful family,
Elder Sabey
ps did you ever get my message about sending me winter boots? I wasn't sure if it sent. If not I was just hoping that you could send me my winter boots. That should be the cheepest way to get warm boots.
Bottom of Form
Monday, November 9, 2009
Josh's letter 11/9
This week my companion and I have recieved quite a bit of praise that is not well deserved. Things in Brainerd have picked up but it is not because me and my companion are so great. In fact I argue with my present companion far more than any before. He is a good missionary though, a very stong leader. The bishop told the mission presendent that he could not be happier with the missionaries and another women said that we cannot be transfered becuase she needs us in her home to help her and her husband and children. The weird thing is we hardly know the bishop--who is new, or the lady. I feel almost guilty. I'm not being self disparaging, we just really didn't deserve it but it was nice. It is really easy to feel terrible and like a failure as a missionary. I think this is because we have so little control. It is the Lord’s work not ours. I originally thought that I was going to come and convice people of the truthfulness of the restored gospel. Either through elequence of logic or the "power" of my testimony. But all these things have no influence unless the investigators opens their heart and if they do that then all of a sudden I matter even less because it is the Holy Ghost that teaches then. Logic is fickle and elequence is momentary and for the most part unappreciated anyhow. And even testimony is dependent on the chemistry of the conversation. It is impossible for my testiomy to be born with any sort of power unless the situation allows it. I am far less a teacher and far more a finder. Though missionaries are the teacher finders and the ward is the full time finders. The work moves so slow until we find someone. Finding the person is by far the hardest and biggest part of the job.
We had an amazing stake conference. Pres and Sis Howell gave talks and the whole meeting was focused on missionary work. It was held an hour and a half away from Brainerd in St Cloud in the university there. There was over a 1000 people. Sis Howell gave a fabulous talk about how god’s plan--or his responsibilities he gives us--are not a burden but a blessing. Then the pioneers of the area got up and bore testimonies. One half of the people present were first generation members and converts. The pioneers talked about going to Utah for the temple and then Chicago and then Minneapolis "our own backyard" (3 hours away). They talked about meeting in houses and stores then dependent suday schools and then branches and wards and now this newly organized stake. It was the first stake confrence of the new stake and there was a lot of zeal for the gospel and missionary work. It was a beautiful sight.
Does anyone sleep down stairs...I have a feeling my room may be no more...Sounds like it might be worth it though. But I do have an objection to having Cubbies friends come over to watch TV downstairs. It is much more fun to play a game or outside. I know that’s what mom has always said and it’s true. I do not remember a time spent on a game system that would have been better spent in a more social and active/interactive enviroment. Don’t get me wrong (Rachel) I still think there’s alot of fun and in moderation they can be a blast but the Sabey household is famous for its acivities. I like it that way. I'm just saying...
Dad, first off I really enjoyed your letter this week. I think I might incorporate your preface to a blessing. I missed St Crispen’s day and Tom’s Bday. I got Toms letter a day or so after. I forced my companion to listen to the speech anyhow. I dont think he appreciated it like he should. Actually he didn't appriciate it at all. I'm glad to hear you went to save Bro Jensen. Sounds like a wonderful ox in the myer situation. I think I would have been scared though. I'm glad he's okay. That’s a dangerous thing to be lost, wet at night in the mountains. I remember several mountain adventures with you: Hiking out the sande de cristo mnts. That was one of those heroic--in our own minds--moments. Same with climbing capitol. That was a memory never to be forgotten and yes mona lisa smiled and will always smile as I reflect on that trip and many of the other expirences that seem like moments caught on a film, a "panoramic drama", the emotion and strife and joy put into a single still frame of mountain grandure. I love the mountains. They are a legacy of you to me. The mountains of the lord. We all climb mountians and they are dangerous and hard and not really fun at all but I can imagine no more joy than standing on top of a mountain with my family looking down into the lakes and valleys below. All goes down. That to me symbolizes the temple and families continuing on forever. Running down the trail together. So give me this mountain--let us climb and see what’s on the other side of the mountain. Every time we have ascended a mountain and returned no where but home again it was not the same place we began. The mountains have changed me and so have you Dad. I recall a preisthood blessing where perhaps you and I were carried up unto an exceedingly high mountain on the wings of your faith. And you saw a beautiful picture there that you painted to me through loving words. Words that I saw clearly. I will always remember and that will keep me moving when I do not feel I can. Thanks for the pictures Dad. I love you. Happy BDay.
Love you all
PS. My adress:
901 12th Ave NE
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Josh's letter 11/1
We taught 23 lessons this week. That is the most I've taught in a week my whole mission. You said that I must be working hard; I hope that is true. But sometimes it is hard to feel like I'm working hard. It isn't at all like track or any sport. It is easy to feel your body working hard. It is much harder to work hard on a mission. you have to work hard in prayer and in attitude. I was told by several people that the mission would be the hardest thing I've ever done. I dont feel like it is any more exhausting than anything else I might be doing (college for example). I was always warn out after a week of school. The mission is literally a full time job and unrelenting. There is no weekend. But I am also less tired than I was at school. I think as a cause of having no week end. The weekends are what really exhausted me. I'm tired on the mission alot too but there aren't deadlines or anything to stress me. It is all subject to other people’s dictation, which can be much more abnoxious than deadlines because I have no control over it.
Okay a few questions: Did you ever recieve the cd I sent? Did you ever look up that talk I mentioned? Just curious. I haven't heard any update on Vila Pueblo. I haven't heard any word on homemade christmas presents. Did Matt of Rachel or Brian or David or Ali dress up as anything for Halloween? (I didn't forget cubby he was a lumber jack) Did you follow the tradition and watch Ghost and Mr. Chicken? Is the family still in contact with Ali? Oh and if you do send socks, it would be nice if they were really warm socks.
Okay so it hasn't snowed much yet. The warmest it's been since I came to Brainerd was 50 degrees and that was just the other day. Most of the time it’s been below freezing or right around it. There are some of the nicest people in this ward. Have I told you about Brother Lund? He is the greatest guy. But this ward has some real struggles. So many people of the ward are less active because of some events that have happened in the last few years. One of which was the divorce of the former bishop and his wife. Both of whom are some of the nicest and most liked people in the ward. The Bishop now attends another ward becase of a court order and his former wife no longer attends. I think the recent conflict is magnified by the fact that most of the members have to drive thirty minuets to an hour, some even three hours, to come to church. So it is really easy to decide to not go to church. We are hoping for two baptisms this up comming month. We have a lesson with Danielle Higgins tonight who is our most promising progressing investigator.
Rachel you wrote me twice in a week... that’s got to be a PR for you. Ha ha Well thank you for your letters. I will change a little but no worries I'll still be as obnoxious as I was before I left. But you better change. You’ll have alot of expirences in the next two years that will be really growing experiences. So when is you big competitio? I thought there was some competitions coming up. I remember you had that latin group competition but how about the competition that you got the dress for? And how in the world did you earn $1000 dollars (I think I remember that that was the amount you earned for it). That’s alot of money.
Dad, I was jealous hearing about the yard projects I was missing out on. But the lord allowed me to be able to find some people this last week to be able to help--most people wont let us help. One person we were able to help started crying because her dad had always helped her before but he was now in a nursing home and she was struggling to do it by herself. It is such a privilage to be able to help someone when they need it. The real problem is finding people who will acept help even when they need it.
Mom and dad, I have thought several times this last week about how greatful I am for my parents who have taught me so much about the gospel. My dad was at every service project and my mom held no guile with anyone. They were both eager to serve and slow to be offended. They loved all the members of the ward. Perhaps this is what most impressed me. They did not simply show face honor to all but truly loved and became friends with both poor, rich and humble and they both loved going to church and had passion for its tenants and principles. I loved hearing about Brother Comstcock. I think I've decided that I have no chance of being a good parent so if I ever have kids I'll send them to you guys to raise. Sound good?
Alittle more about Brother Comstock. It's been interesting to me that recent converts and less active members have been far more sucessful at obtaining referals for the missionaries. Some might say that is because they have friends who aren't members but I doesn’t appear to be the case. I think it is because in these cases they are in the process of repenting. They are actively using the atonement in their lives. They are anxiously engaged in a good cause. I love the line in D&C 121 that says how long can rushing water remain impure. We must remian as rushing water in the gospel. If we are staggnent we become filthy. The atonement is the way that we can improve every aspect of out life, from relationships to school work to dancing. It is the way we move beyound ourselves and into the eternal. We can improve because of the hope we have that is in Christ our lord. If every member were to actively using the atonement in their lives they would, I have no doubt, as if led by an invisible hand, find people who need to hear the gospel.
I love you all,
Elder Sabey
PS Before I run out of time I want to tell David to talk to Brian about girls. Beause Brian and I discovered a little someting about them last year. Girls will be girls and they do have a hard time becoming "just friends". They thrive on being close, being needed and wanted. I'm sure Rachel and maybe mom will argue about some of this and they probably will have a valid point but I'm still right. I'm just saying that I think She'll have a hard time even if she says it's a good idea. Just ask Brian.
PPS The Vikings beat Green Bay--It's kind of a big deal.
ppps I've heard alot of interesting things from people about Obama here... I'm courious what Bruce and Margret have to say...
Monday, November 2, 2009
Josh's letter 11/1
We taught 23 lessons this week. That is the most I've taught in a week my whole mission. You said that I must be working hard; I hope that is true. But sometimes it is hard to feel like I'm working hard. It isn't at all like track or any sport. It is easy to feel your body working hard. It is much harder to work hard on a mission. you have to work hard in prayer and in attitude. I was told by several people that the mission would be the hardest thing I've ever done. I dont feel like it is any more exhausting than anything else I might be doing (college for example). I was always warn out after a week of school. The mission is literally a full time job and unrelenting. There is no weekend. But I am also less tired than I was at school. I think as a cause of having no week end. The weekends are what really exhausted me. I'm tired on the mission alot too but there aren't deadlines or anything to stress me. It is all subject to other people’s dictation, which can be much more abnoxious than deadlines because I have no control over it.
Okay a few questions: Did you ever recieve the cd I sent? Did you ever look up that talk I mentioned? Just curious. I haven't heard any update on Vila Pueblo. I haven't heard any word on homemade christmas presents. Did Matt of Rachel or Brian or David or Ali dress up as anything for Halloween? (I didn't forget cubby he was a lumber jack) Did you follow the tradition and watch Ghost and Mr. Chicken? Is the family still in contact with Ali? Oh and if you do send socks, it would be nice if they were really warm socks.
Okay so it hasn't snowed much yet. The warmest it's been since I came to Brainerd was 50 degrees and that was just the other day. Most of the time it’s been below freezing or right around it. There are some of the nicest people in this ward. Have I told you about Brother Lund? He is the greatest guy. But this ward has some real struggles. So many people of the ward are less active because of some events that have happened in the last few years. One of which was the divorce of the former bishop and his wife. Both of whom are some of the nicest and most liked people in the ward. The Bishop now attends another ward becase of a court order and his former wife no longer attends. I think the recent conflict is magnified by the fact that most of the members have to drive thirty minuets to an hour, some even three hours, to come to church. So it is really easy to decide to not go to church. We are hoping for two baptisms this up comming month. We have a lesson with Danielle Higgins tonight who is our most promising progressing investigator.
Rachel you wrote me twice in a week... that’s got to be a PR for you. Ha ha Well thank you for your letters. I will change a little but no worries I'll still be as obnoxious as I was before I left. But you better change. You’ll have alot of expirences in the next two years that will be really growing experiences. So when is you big competitio? I thought there was some competitions coming up. I remember you had that latin group competition but how about the competition that you got the dress for? And how in the world did you earn $1000 dollars (I think I remember that that was the amount you earned for it). That’s alot of money.
Dad, I was jealous hearing about the yard projects I was missing out on. But the lord allowed me to be able to find some people this last week to be able to help--most people wont let us help. One person we were able to help started crying because her dad had always helped her before but he was now in a nursing home and she was struggling to do it by herself. It is such a privilage to be able to help someone when they need it. The real problem is finding people who will acept help even when they need it.
Mom and dad, I have thought several times this last week about how greatful I am for my parents who have taught me so much about the gospel. My dad was at every service project and my mom held no guile with anyone. They were both eager to serve and slow to be offended. They loved all the members of the ward. Perhaps this is what most impressed me. They did not simply show face honor to all but truly loved and became friends with both poor, rich and humble and they both loved going to church and had passion for its tenants and principles. I loved hearing about Brother Comstcock. I think I've decided that I have no chance of being a good parent so if I ever have kids I'll send them to you guys to raise. Sound good?
Alittle more about Brother Comstock. It's been interesting to me that recent converts and less active members have been far more sucessful at obtaining referals for the missionaries. Some might say that is because they have friends who aren't members but I doesn’t appear to be the case. I think it is because in these cases they are in the process of repenting. They are actively using the atonement in their lives. They are anxiously engaged in a good cause. I love the line in D&C 121 that says how long can rushing water remain impure. We must remian as rushing water in the gospel. If we are staggnent we become filthy. The atonement is the way that we can improve every aspect of out life, from relationships to school work to dancing. It is the way we move beyound ourselves and into the eternal. We can improve because of the hope we have that is in Christ our lord. If every member were to actively using the atonement in their lives they would, I have no doubt, as if led by an invisible hand, find people who need to hear the gospel.
I love you all,
Elder Sabey
PS Before I run out of time I want to tell David to talk to Brian about girls. Beause Brian and I discovered a little someting about them last year. Girls will be girls and they do have a hard time becoming "just friends". They thrive on being close, being needed and wanted. I'm sure Rachel and maybe mom will argue about some of this and they probably will have a valid point but I'm still right. I'm just saying that I think She'll have a hard time even if she says it's a good idea. Just ask Brian.
PPS The Vikings beat Green Bay--It's kind of a big deal.
ppps I've heard alot of interesting things from people about Obama here... I'm courious what Bruce and Margret have to say...
Monday, October 12, 2009
Josh's letter Oct 12
First off, so I dont forget: Dad I enjoy getting your letters. They come either Monday after my email or Wednessday. I really like gettting them on Wednessday because It is always fun to have a letter halfway through the week. I might not do a good job at answering your questions though because I read it and then several days go by before I respond. I enjoy hearing about your work. Good job on the summary judgments. I hear David is thinking about going into law...someting I was actually thinking about the other day.
Next in importance come the matters of the heart. I hear Brian and Dia are pretty much...what is it called...oh yeah, falling in love, as it were, if you will. Anyhow Brian expressed to me that she is similar to me in her ability to carry on intellectual conversation and in her writing...in which case, if this were true (or even possible) I would have to strongly urge against continuing the relationship. As someone who knows myself, no one deserves such a fate as being married to someone like that... So for what its worth, If you continue the relationship dont say I didn't warn you. But sense that is not possible I have nothing against it. It sounds like there is more passion in this relationship than there was with Arisa and that is probably a good thing. Probably the most important thing in relation to future happiness is her testimony so I'll let you be the judge of that--and maybe he mother. She is fairly young but I have come across alot of people here in Brainerd who are 18 and living together and even have a baby so... If the winter’s cold enough, I guess age isn't as important. We are actually going to be teaching one of these couples. They were very nice and didn't go to church. They seemed mainly courious and missed our first appointment but what can you say, they are only 18. I still have faith that something good might happen with them.
That is one of the real blessings of the mission so far. I have been givin a chance to see intimately different cross sections of people’s lives that have been formed from different choices. I use to think, not to long ago, that I could think hard enough and discover truth. I think we dont realize how influenced our thoughts are by society and family and friends and things that we have taken for granted. An example would be The Bible being the ultimate source of knowlege. This idea was started by some reformer and has become a given in so many people’s minds. They dont even realize that they are putting faith in something that has no substance. Another example is the renaissance that was invented by 17th centry historians in France I believe. Now we assume that the dark ages were dark and then suddenly the renaissance came and everything became modernized and a boom in learning and the arts etc. This is something we don’t realize we have been putting faith in something that someone told us that is not true. So it is with our own development of philosphies. It has been so interesting to me to hear different people’s philosphies of life. I wonder how long their philophies will last them. I talk to people who are doing what too many kids and adults out here in the country do. Smoking, living together, just having "fun" in what can be a boring and cold place. I was talking to a LA last night who says that he doesn't like being told what to do by a prophet who says he talks with God so he can controll people. He says he perfers a freer life style. This is such a sad pittiable statement. Could anyone in their right mind truly imagine the prophet of Christ's church, President Thomas S Monson, trying to gain power over people and control them? Fair is fowl and fowl is fair. The truth is that Christ's way, The prophets way, the church’s way, Mom and Dad’s way have always been the way of freedom not chains. It is the freedom of the rope swing in the back yard. It is the freedom of gravity. It is the freedom of standards, of self respect, of happiness. It is the freedom to choose eternal life rather than giving away your choice to someone who would have you his.
It is a sobering thing to see people put faith in a philosophy that is as insubstancial as the freedom they seek. It is not hard to know that this church is true. It is not hard to see that it is the way to ahppiness. Just look at people around us. Be observers of the world. Be part of others lives and we will easily see who is happy and who is not. The hard thing to do is do it. I dont really know why but I think it must have somthing to do with our greatest fear--that we are powerful beyound meausre.
Last off, Happy Bday David. You’re old. So is Brian and so am I. I don’t like it. You and Brian will probably be all married when I get home. Lame. But I guess I can put my greif behind me for one second and express my gratitude to you. You have always been the frame of the siblings. You held us all together. Who can be mad at David? I could a few times but for the most part David is the Sam-wise-gamgie of the Sabey family. Thanks for being the friend that is the hero behind the scene. If everyone in the world had a friend like David It sure would be hard for people to feel alone and misserable. Let us all strive to be a friend to those who need it. A friend like Mr Scrooge became, (insert the last lines of a Christmas carol--something about he was true to his promise, he became the best friend the best man the world had ever seen.) I glad you'll be with me,dave, there at the end of all things
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Brian's Brimhall Essay
Mountains
I climb mountains. Eugene L. Roberts did too, and encouraged others to do so, organizing some of the first Timpanogas climbs. In my grandma’s words, he did it because “Mountains are there to be climbed.” This recalls the famous answer George Mallory gave when asked why he wanted to climb Everest: “Because it is there.” Mountains are there and they are meant to be climbed. That is why I climb mountains. Of course, the next question is “Why are they meant to be climbed?” Why is it good to climb mountains? Because of the view? Because of the challenge? For the exercise? For the experience of nature? Because mountains are like temples, sacred and revelatory? Take your pick; none of these answers satisfies me. Yes the view can be incredible, yes the challenge and exercise and experience of nature is enlivening. Yes there is absolutely something about the high places of the earth that commands reverence, and brings us closer to God. But the experience itself is the only complete answer for this and a thousand other “whys” about doing good things. Experience is what we gain on our earthly mountain climb, replete with soul-stilling glory and pied beauty, as well as heart-wrenching suffering and monotony’s deadening trudge. And when a Job or Joseph asks God why, He does not answer. He merely affirms that He is God, we are His children, He is in control, and all these things shall give us experience—“Just keep climbing,” in effect. That we should ask “why” is human. But we must be careful not to value the abstracted, objectified, speakable explanation of reality more than reality itself—which we simply experience.
There is, I believe, value in being able to ponder, put into language, and discuss our experience—it allows us to connect with other people and identify patterns and meanings. But there is a certain point at which this system simply fails. Poetry, art, and music are all languages that greatly expand our ability to express human experience, but even these will never be entirely sufficient. And even if we could find a way to express through some form of language the totality of human experience, still the expression would be no substitute for the experience itself. And reading about climbing mountains will never substitute for climbing them. Those of us who spend a lot of time and energy reading, learning, discussing, classifying, and systematizing need to balance our focus by remembering to experience the indefinable, irreducible world, and to stand in awe. I am not suggesting that we should live unexamined lives. I have recently read Plato’s stunning Apology of Socrates, and as I read, Socrates renewed his status as a great hero of mine. But if he had done nothing more than examine life, his legacy would have been as a tickling cymbal. He was a man of action, and his examination of life was not a merely cerebral exercise. He acted out his philosophy to his death. He also asked difficult “whys” and came to few conclusions. But despite his self-acknowledged ignorance, when his life’s mountain was climbed, he was not afraid to walk into the valley of death—and he had a bright hope that there was another more glorious mountain on the other side of the valley. We should examine our lives, but we should examine courageously and not questioning fearfully; and we should stay planted in the life-giving soil of experience, of the real world. So to those who sometimes get bogged down with difficult “whys,” I would simply respond with a smile: “Go climb a mountain.”